Do I really have to face the EX - YES!

Now that you are finally comfortable being single and living without that guy, it’s time to face him! I know it's not going to be fun and you are probably going to have a ton of anxiety before the day, but you can do it - I did and so can you!!

PS: This is a long one!!!

Just this past spring I had to face not just my ex, but his new girlfriend (the one he was cheating on me with). I have to consider myself lucky because of the situation I found myself in. A lot of times when you end a relationship it is likely that you will see him out at the bars, at mutual friends homes, or somewhere. Well I was in a long distance relationship so the likelihood of me seeing him was slim to none. So this encounter was a big deal - I had not seen or talked to him in 5 months (this was the first real interaction we had since the breakup - and that happened over the phone).

In April two of our (mine and the ex's) best friends were getting married. I knew he was going to be there, he was in the wedding, so I was able to deal and process this news. I didn't start to panic until I found out that she (the new girl) was coming. It's not that I wanted to be with him, but I wasn't sure how I would react with just having him - now I have to look at her - GREATTTTT. Let's just say there was a lot of girl power music, drinking, and running the weeks leading up to the wedding (Miranda Lambert's "Only Prettier" is clutch!)

So it's time for the big day!!! Now I'm the type of girl who needs to stay busy, otherwise I start thinking about everything, analyzing every detail, and driving myself mad. So I scheduled a work event that morning/early afternoon. By the time I got home, it was time to get ready to head to the wedding!!!!

As soon as I walk in, I see him - now this is the moment I have been dreading - but once I see him I laugh. There is absolutely no attraction and I can't believe I ever dated him (hahahaha). Of course all my boys are there with him, so they run up and give me big hugs (especially the ones I haven't seen in while). Now it's his turn to say hello and it was fine (at least for me). We went through the usual small talk about our families and what we had been up to - all the fake stuff we put ourselves through just to act pleasant. Well not even 5 minutes later does the other girl walk in - and of course she is with some of my girl friends (I mean he and I have the same mutual friends and the girls can't just ignore her – plus I would never ask them too). The best part is that she ends up sitting on my exact same row – typical!

Well the wedding was amazing and the bride was gorgeous - she couldn't have asked for a better day! As the cocktail hour and reception start I get a little nervous. Sitting through a ceremony is one thing, but a reception is another. Well nothing was going to stop me from having a good time, so I was a dancing fool - as usual. Strangely enough he wasn't - this was odd. Normally my ex would have been in the middle of the floor trying to steal the show. Instead he kind of stayed in the background, hanging out with her. There was only one awkward moment during the reception. They had all the girls line up on one side and the boys on the other. If you have ever seen the movie "Hitch" then you know what I'm talking about. It was time to have a dance line! So I find myself in the front of the line and when I look across to see who I was partnered with I realize it's the ex. Right at the exact same moment, he realizes the same thing. Well instead of being an adult and going with the flow - he scurries out of the way and runs to the middle of the guys. Of course I'm looking at everyone shocked and not sure how I should respond. But needless to say my friends were there. One his very best friends, who just happens to be a dear friend of mine jumped in a grabbed me!!! It was the ex who looked silly - not me!

So as the wedding came to end and we wished the bride and groom off I knew things were great! I had faced my demon and I could have the closure I needed to really move on. I didn't love him anymore and I defiantly did not want to be with him.

So I know it's going to be hard for you to face your ex, and even more difficult if you have to see him with a new girl. But if you need a little help just listen to Miranda Lambert's "Only Prettier" and you'll feel a lot better!!!

Recycle Theory

Everyone needs a little lovin every now and then right?

So what should a single girl who doesn't want to be considered "wild, whorish, or promiscuous" do?

Well, that's where the recycle theory comes in!!

The recycle theory is the idea that instead of increasing your "number" you just have fun with someone from the past:

"Recycle Slassy" had been broken up with "long time boyfriend" for a little while and it was her first night in the new house with new roomies.  Off course a girl’s night is in order, so they head uptown. They were at Dixie’s and "Recycle Slassy" spotted a guy she briefly dated in high school.  Needless to say he was super hot and "Recycle Slassy" was super drunk with one thing on her mind, RECYCLE.  Well, "Recycle Slassy" convinces "Recycle man" to come home with her, but when they get home they realize he doesn't have a condom.  "Recycle Slassy" is determined to make this night happen and begs one of the roommates to drive them to the gas station to buy condoms.  Just like any good roommate, she agrees to drive "recycle couple" to the store while laughing the whole way.  Once "recycle couple" get back home they head upstairs and....he can't keep it up!!!!!  At this point "Recycle Slassy" is drunk, disappointed and exhausted, so she decides to pass out.  The next morning, typical hung-over "Recycle Slassy," needs to throw up.  So she sneaks off to the bathroom to puke but when she gets back to the room "homeboy" aka "recycle man" wants to prove he can keep it up.  Of course "Recycle Slassy has to give him one last chance, but remembers "don't let him kiss me!!!!!!"

Now sometimes you can plan a "recycle" but be very cautious that you don’t stir up trouble. But the best way to use the recycle theory is to have an "unexpected recycle" because it's not planned, but when you see the guy, you automatically know your number isn't going to increase if you take him home - this is the best way to use the theory.  The recycle is just about one thing and one thing only:
 

Let the past be the past and tonight be tonight! 

Just be her friend!

Do you remember when you were a little girl and all you wanted to do was be with girlfriends because boys had coodies - Well when did we change our mind? When did we start letting our boyfriends drive our relationships apart?



Now that you are single you may have found a new group of girl friends, rekindled old relationships, or just strengthed those that were already there. Many of these friends could be in the same place you are - SINGLE!  No matter what, you've found a group to comfort you when you are sad, go out with you when you want to play, or just hang when all else fails. Now what happens when you meet that next guy, or when they meet that next guy?

I've asked you to start playing the game, find your friends, be silly and learn to love yourself. We've talked about how your girls can help you through all this, but we haven't about how to keep yourself from falling back into your old ways and forgetting about your friends. So today you are going to learn how I went from being very depressed to a happy girl!

I dated a guy who did everything possible to pull me away from my friends - he didn't want them to tell me certain things so he lied, embelished the truth and did everything possible to make me question my girlfriends' loyalty. He then took it a step further and tried to turn them on me. He would tell them things I said when I was hurt and just needing to vent, or would even tell them lies. He wanted me to only be around him and the people he picked for me (controlling). Now I was crazy in love (or whatever you want to call it) and started to believe everything he said. Because of that, I lost a lot of great friends. I pushed them away, and then they grew tired of trying to help me. Once I lost them I was alone and thought this boyfriend was the only one I could turn to. I was lost and sad and alone. Without my friends to keep my in check and do the things I love to do I started to lose my identity. Not only did this make me sad in general but it kept me in the relationship longer than I should have been. I was so afraid that I would have noone if I left him that I stuck it out even when I knew I shouldn't have.

Luckily for me I had a few wonderful people who never really left. When they saw me hit rock bottom they were there. I will never forget driving through the mountains of NC - on my home from a weekend at the lake with him and a few friends he approved of. My girl friend looked at me on that car ride home and said "you deserve better." She didn't say anything else for a very long time (4 hour car ride) until I finally broke down. That was the turning point in my mind - not in my actions. It wasn't until I saw that other friends were starting to call more often and I was making more of an effort that I realized I didn't need him and I couldn't be without a boyfriend (I wasn't alone).

Now I have a ton of girlfriends who I love and adore. Some are friends from the past, some are new, and then there are those that never left. I learned an extremely important lesson from all this. A friendship is a relationship and it is up to you to make it last. Don't stop calling just because they said no to your invitation 30 times. And if you realize that you are saying no that many times, say yes at least once. She probably needs you and that boy will wait. Make a pact with your girl friends to never let a guy drive you apart and respect her choices. It's not your life and you may not always know what is best for her - even if you don't like the guy let her love him. We are stubborn creatures who have to learn from our mistakes so let her make those mistakes. My friends had to let me, they warned and pleaded but I had to figure it out for myself.

Slassy Movie List

Ok ladies - I have been telling you stories of me and my Slassy Ladies and it's ok to read things, but if you are like me then you are visual learner. I have to see something before I believe it. So here is a list of my movie suggestions!!

Each of these talks about the importance of friends, being yourself, and the living the Slassy way. So on the next rainy day grab a movie your girls and enjoy!

Oh and if you have any great Slassy movies - let me know!!!

Crazy Dates

The craziest thing about dating is that each date is so different from the next. Just when you think you have the game and the dating world figured out someone pulls the rug out from underneath you. Each of us Slassy Ladies has had some very interesting dates, but one tops them all - Match.com guy.

One bored, silly, drunk night two of the Slassy Ladies thought it would funny to join Match.com. Well needless to say it works - you will find a date if you join. Within the first few days of joining, "crazy slassy" had a slew of emails. True to programs promise "crazy slassy" had a date - for the sake of his dignity we are going to call him "internet boy." The two hit it off and were having a blast. The first few dates were awesome, however he had this weird thing about not always paying (first sign that he was weird - don't get me wrong you shouldn't be a moocher - but a true gentleman will pay. You can offer after the first few dates). It wasn't until one Sunday afternoon "internet boy" asked "crazy slassy" to join him and his cousin for Sunday drinks. The three of them were just chilling and enjoying each other’s company until "internet boy" boy left for the bathroom. At that time, "cousin" begin to tell "crazy slassy" how awful "internet boy" was. "Cousin" stated that "internet boy" was a womanizer, cheater, and that he was not a good guy. Well "crazy slassy" was freaked out - why would "internet boy's" cousin bash him? It wasn't until they left the bar that "crazy slassy" figured it out. "Cousin" came up to "crazy slassy" and tried to make out with her. Of course she stopped him and was like "what just happened."

The next morning "crazy slassy" tried to understand why this would have happened. She thought that maybe "cousin" had had just a little too much to drink and didn't know what he was doing. Sadly that was not the case. "Cousin" knew what he had done and asked "crazy slassy" to keep her mouth shut. Lucky for him, "crazy slassy" kept her mouth shut, but needless to say that was the end of "internet boy" and Match.com for that matter.

So don't worry if you have a few bad dates, they make us appreciate the great ones. Just laugh it off with you girls and get ready for the next. Hey, it could be worse!

What's the Rush

My fortune cookie stated "He who hurries cannot walk with dignity." This made me think - what's the rush with life. Why are we always trying to grow up, get to the weekend, FIND THE NEW BOYFRIEND? Why can't just be happy in the moment and enjoy what we have right now.

Have you ever sat down and thought about who you want to date - looks, personality, everything. When I was a little girl I had the perfect guy picked out - not someone I knew or a movie star, but my dream man. Now how many of you have dated that guy? NOT ME. I've never even dated a guy that looks like my dream man, much less had the characteristics. I've spent my life worrying about being in a relationship that I didn't really think about who I was dating and if they were what I REALLY wanted. Don't get me wrong, I've dated some very cute guys who were very very kind, but I was so caught up in the moment and what I thought they could be, that I forgot to look at who they really were. I wanted to speed up the process.

Well now I'm slowing down. Each day is a new day and I am enjoying life in the moment. The hardest thing for me was living in the present. When I was in my serious relationship - yes I was in a relationship for 7 years - I was so busy worrying about what we were going to do next, or when we were going to get engaged, married, and so forth that I stressed about everything. I forgot to live in the present. It probably caused a lot of fight (ok I know it caused a lot of fights) and I stopped being happy with what I was doing.

Not anymore - now I'm just enjoying life. I've found that if I live for the moment then I enjoy life a lot more. The dating world can be fun, yes scary, but fun. When you see that cute guy for the first time and he says HELLO. The tickle in the stomach and the giddiness you feel is amazing. But you will only feel these things if you live for today. So stop trying to speed up the process - you will get married one day if that is what you want - and just be happy with what you have right now. Tomorrow it's gone and you can't get that time or those feelings back. Be patient and really think about the next guy that comes your way. Is he really what you want or is it that you just want to be in a relationship?

Be yourself to find true love!

Just last night I asked you a question "Do you want to play the field or are you happy being single?" This made me think - why do we assume that we have to date someone or be with someone to be happy. What about all those people who never marry, aren't they happy? We are told from the time we are little girls to find our prince charming, but why? What is this constant fear of being alone? Oh, trust me I have them and don't want to be alone - but I'm curious as to why we feel this way.

I can remember being in high school thinking that I had to have a boyfriend to fit into the status quo. If you didn't get flowers on Valentine's then you weren't pretty enough or something was wrong with you. Even in College, I spent my entire college life dating someone because I thought that I had to. Now this is not something that someone told me and it was not encouraged by my parents (my mother always wanted me to be single and just live) but I had this idea in my head that I had to be with someone to be accepted. I know weird, but I wonder if any of you have ever felt this way?

Just now I have discovered that I am a much happier person than I have been in a long time and I'm single. So I guess I'm breaking the status quo. I'm a young single girl who is happy!!!! The reason I'm happy is because I have learned to accept myself for who I am and I'm not looking for someone to fill a void - I filled that void by being myself. Now I would love to meet the perfect guy (my prince charming) but I'm not out there taking anyone who comes my way just because I think it’s what I have to do. I'm going to wait and find the guy that fits, no longer am I going to make him fit!

My advice to you is that you need to learn to love yourself for who you are. Surround yourself with people who let you be yourself and stop trying to fit a mold or make someone fit your mold. Just live and enjoy everything you do. If you want to be alone - great, but if you don't then I can promise you he will come. It may not be tomorrow or next month, but if you are patient that perfect guy who accepts you for you will come around!

Freedom

I've asked you to go out and start playing the game, but I forgot to ask one very important question - DO YOU WANT TO PLAY THE FIELD?

Ok ladies, it's fine to go out there and look for the new catch but how many of you are tired of looking and just want to be free and do your own thing!!
Tonight I am out with three of my favorite ladies, each of us are in a very different place in our lives but we all share one common bond - we love each other. One of the ladies is in love and thinks she may marry this guy, the second has dated the same guy for years and finally I think they realize they are meant to be. The third lady is just like me - we are out having fun taking any young man that comes our way - so long as he meets our standards-well at least some. The best thing about this group is that we accept one another and love each other for who we are.

So here is what I'm asking you to do. Find your girls, plan a beach weekend and go for it. Don't set an agenda, so let the dance party happen and be happy. Remember you don't have to date someone to be happy - just be happy for who you are- remember we are little girls at heart!!!!

Too Many Boys, but one valuable lesson

Well, there seems to be a persistent argument as to whether or not a girl should ask out a guy or wait for him to pursue. So here is my conclusion - do whatever makes you happy. If you get turned down, then oh well - at least you tried and now you don't have to spend your time wondering if he is going to ask you out, just move on to the next guy. And if you wait - good for you, just don't wait around too long. Remember guys will go after something they want. stop making excuses for him (the Slassy Ladies have used them all) just move on. Who knows, maybe once you're gone, he will decide he likes you after all and come find you!

Now back to our story. Last time I shared with you the story of one of my first "group dates," but now we come to the time where us Slassy Ladies were hit with multiple guys asking us out and we weren't sure what to do. Some of these guys were ones we met out on the town, in the grocery store, and lord knows where. But some of the others were men from our past, or friends who had never made a move. So through this story I hope you will learn to just have fun with the game.

 So one of the Slassy Ladies had a birthday! (One thing that you should know is that Birthdays are a big deal here at the Slassy House - I mean big deal) So all of us girls doll up and get ready for the town with a little dinner, with some dancing and great music. Well everything was going the way it should. Birthday girl was happy, all the other Slassy Ladies were meeting guys and we were having the time of our lives! Out of the blue Birthday girl meets a guy, "Blondie" and boy is he cute. The next thing I know, they have hit it off and are having great time. That is until this other young man walks in to the party "re-run." Now "re-run" and “birthday girl” haven't really hung out that much, he is a mutual friend, but "re-run" has a thing for "birthday girl" and refuses to admit to it. But when he walks in to the party and sees "Blondie" with "birthday girl, "re-run" is ready to show "birthday girl" how much he cares. Now of course "birthday girl" is just having a little fun and is not looking for drama – I mean what is she supposed to do - torn between two men and she has no idea if either one truly likes her. From someone who was watching it all happen, I must say it was quite amusing seeing these two fellows begging for her attention. If one would leave her the side, the other was quick to swoop in. But this got old, fast, and since drinks were involved we were just waiting for things between the boys to get heated. Luckily her Slassy Ladies were there to jump in and take her home. There could have been a little drama, possibly tears, and what girl needs that on her birthday. So we learned a valuable lesson. If you are seeing multiple people - you better make sure only one knows your plans for the evening. Otherwise, they may all end up in the same place! If they do, you better have a back-up plan!

But no matter what - remember - Girls just want to have fun!



So go out, have some fun with your girls, meet all sorts of guys, then share some of your stories with me!!!

A Big Question

So how are those dates going? I'm sure you all have some pretty interesting stories by now, if not don't worry it will come. Just keep putting yourself out there and eventually someone will ask you out.

Now that leads to a questions I have for all of you. In this post I want to jump to current times. I've shared with you how the Slassy Ladies got over our X's and the steps we took to get "back in the game" but now we are having a debate. The question at hand is "should a girl approach a guy or should she wait for the guy to approach her" Now I know we live in modern times where it’s acceptable for the husband to stay at home and the wife to work. But is it really ok for a girl to ask out a guy? The Slassy House is torn. Some say of course, others say no - girls should be pursued.

So what do you think?

Time to get back in the GAME!!!

Do you feel better now that you have just allowed yourself to get angry? I hope so, because if you hold on to the anger you will become bitter and that is not a place anyone wants to be. So now that you have had good scream, trashed talked him to all your girlfriends and family, maybe even a few strangers, it's time to forget about him and move on!!

It took me almost 2 months to get back in the swing of "dating." Now don't get me wrong, I was really good at going out, talking to guys, flirting (my mother always said if flirting was a sport then I would be the number draft pick), and giving out my number - I don't call guys. But I never let go any further than a quick chat at the bar and a few text messages/phone calls. I just wasn't ready to let myself go, but eventually you have to take that leap. Now if you know me, then this is going to sound crazy - I have a fear of first dates. Weird I know, but I absolutely hate going on that first date. So much so that I try to avoid one on one first dates at all cost. Well, group dates can be a lot of fun, but they can sometimes turn ugly/funny. So here is my first date "group" - we are talking baby steps!

Football season was alive, and lucky for me one of my dearest friends and follow Slassy Ladies, had season tickets to the Panthers (my favorite team). Well, the day of the game my cousin called me up and said he was going to the game with a friend (we will call him "outdoor boy") and wanted to tailgate at the house first. I lived right beside the Panthers stadium at the time, so I said of course. Little did I know that "outdoor boy" would be gorgeous. I remember when he walked in the door I looked at my girl friend and said "well hello!" Tailgating went well and we were hitting it off. So much so, that we decided to continue the night. So of course I invite everyone I know to meet me at the bar after the game (remember I don't like being alone with a guy I like - the more people I invite the more I like the guy). So we had a crew and the drinks were poured and connections were made. When the bar started to close "outdoor boy" didn't want to go home. He decided he was coming home with me - well I wasn't having that. However he followed us to my house and as soon as we got there he ran for the bathroom. 45 minutes later my cousin showed up and took him home. My friend and I couldn't understand why he was in there for so long, until the next time I spoke with him - yes, he called the next day and apologized like any decent guy would do. Well the reason was in the bathroom for so long was because he was sick. Apparently I wasn’t the only one who was nervous, so was he. While having my friends around was good for me, having his boys around probably wasn't the best this for him - they urged him to drink more than he needed. He not only got sick, but then was such a gentleman and so embarrassed that he cleaned my entire bathroom afterwards. "Outdoor boy" didn't want me to know, so he cleaned.

Needless to say, that was not our official first date, but it was the first time I allowed myself to spend time with a guy for more than 15 minutes. Today "outdoor boy" is still a friend of mine. No, we aren't dating, just friends. This is a story I will never forget because it showed me, that we aren't the only ones who are scared - sometimes the guys are just as nervous. You'll be fine going out on that next date - remember he is just as scared as you. So the next time someone asks you out, even if you don't really like him, just say yes and have fun. Remember you have to start somewhere.

I bet you're angry

So you've cried, gone out, and remembered what it was like to be single and have fun. Now I bet you're angry, if not, I'm sure it's coming. During the first few weeks, so I would say that first month after my break up, I was doing everything possible to not cry. I went out almost every night and did anything to keep my mind off the fact that I was now alone. I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. The thing you don't know about my relationship is that I was cheated on, not just once, but numerous times. When my relationship ended for good, I didn't know that he was once again cheating on me - I found out the very next day. I remember that when I saw/heard the evidence I just laughed. I couldn't stop - I was shocked, yet not surprised - if that makes any since. I guess I thought he would never do something like that again, but I knew in heart he never changed. That first month of single hood was dedicated to doing everything possible to keep my mind off him.

Once I realized that I didn't need him to be happy I got mad. I was angry that someone I loved and cared for could hurt me. I was mad at the people who knew and didn't tell me. I felt betrayed by the girl who introduced them (I thought she was my friend). So to conquer this feeling I created a play list of  few good songs. Every time I started to get mad, I would listen to my play list and just laugh. From that play list of songs, I learned that I shouldn't be mad at these people - I should say thank you. You just kept me from making an even bigger mistake. What if I would have stayed with him? I wasn't happy in the relationship, I was just afraid of being alone and I was happier being miserable than being alone. Now trust me - that is not the way to live. Today when my Slassy Ladies reminisce on our past relationships, the one thing we always say is thank goodness we are not with him. So your next step is to get mad, let it happen, and create your girl power play list!

To get you started here is one of my theme songs!

Your Next Steps

Now that you have had a good cry, fought through the urge to call that guy, and realized that your girl friends are there for you, it's time to start moving forward. Easier said than done, right? Trust me, I was there, but the only way to get back on your feet is to stand up and put one foot in front of the other. I once heard someone say "you are your biggest problem, yet your best solution." So don't worry - it will work out. You are going to fall back on your face, your going to cry a lot, and you might drink a lot, but you will move forward!

To help you get started here is my suggestion - Start a Bucket List! I'm serious, make a list of all those things you have always wanted to do. If you can't think of something, then call a girl friend and go out. I don't care if you have to work tomorrow, have a test, or some excuse - stop making excuses. Go out!!! Put your favorite dress and shoes on. I mean it, fix up and look good. Then grab your girl friends, go out, and just get silly. Don't care what people are going to say, if you feel as though you are being silly - good, you are doing the right thing. Don't be the girl on the wall - you are too good for that. If you think people are talking about you, they are, because they wish they were gutsy enough to be like you. HAVE FUN!

When you wake up - have no regrets. Write down your favorite part of the night and then start your bucket list. Since I've been single, I have had the time of my life and I have done some amazing things with some amazing people - My Slassy Ladies!!!

So I have a question for y'all - what is your bucket list?

The first few days after the break up!

If you are going through a break up you know that the first few days, weeks, and sometimes months can be the most difficult. You are probably asking your self: did I make a mistake? what's wrong with me? what did I do wrong? should I go back to him? will anyone ever love me? was I not good enough? and a million more questions that make you second guess your decision to end the relationship or things that won't help you get through this hard time if he ended it with you. Don't worry ladies, every girl (and man - they just won't admit it) ask these very same questions. Here is your answer - you are worth it, you will find someone who loves you, you are good enough, and you are not alone.

I have learned that one of the number one fears of all these Slassy Ladies is that we are afraid of being alone. Well this is where your girl friends come in handy. How many of you had to give up girl time to be with "the guy?" How many of you lost a few friends because of "the guy?" Well we did and learned your friends are still there and will forgive you.

So if you start to feel down or want to call that guy - don't! Call a friend, open a bottle of wine (or a few), have a good cry and listen to one of the original Slassy songs!

Welcome to the Slassy Life

How many of you have been in a relationship and thought this is the one, only to find out that you were completely wrong and it all blew up in your face? Well this is how the Slassy Life began!!

Over a year ago there were a group of girls, all in their mid 20's, who were in serious relationships. The conversations consisted of engagement rings, wedding dresses, the dream engagement and all of those things you think about when you think you’re about to be proposed to. In April of 2010 the first of the Slassy Ladies had her life rocked when out of the blue the relationship ended. Over the next 6 months the 3 other Slassy ladies went through similar life changes. Some of the relationships ended and the two remained friends, while some can't even look at each other. The consistent is that each of us rose above this difficult time by relying on each other.

This blog is going to tell the story of 4 young women, all living in the city of Charlotte, who came together to rebuild their lives and realize that being a SLASSY (single lady who is sassy yet oh so classy) is often a lot more fun and crazy than a being girl who is about to spend the rest of her life with the wrong man!

The hope of this blog is that other women/girls, whatever you want to be considered, will realize that you are not alone. Single life is a lot of fun and it's a great place to explore your true self, meet a lot of great women and really dive into your passions. I hope that through this blog you will find yourself laughing, crying, and understanding that it's ok to be single!!