Have you ever felt so consumed with projects and obligations that you started to feel as though your life was spinning out of control, the weight of the world was on your shoulders and you were missing out on everything?
Now you may be asking yourself what does this have to do with being single - A LOT.
In one of the first few blogs I told you to go out there and just live, do things that you had never done before, start your bucket list. So if you are following my advice or have done this on your own accord, you may be involved in various different things. You may have joined a board or a young professionals group. Maybe you joined a bible study, became active in a book club, or maybe you joined everything and anything you've ever wished you had joined.
BUT ARE YOU HAPPY
I've always been the overactive, extremely involved and too committed girl. Shoot I remember one time in college I was a cheerleader, staring in a play, working, holding down 21 credit hours, serving as a VP in my sorority and still trying to have a life (well we all know that wasn't happening). I had become so involved, that I couldn't live for me or in the moment. Everylittle moment of my life was planned and I feel as though I missed out – actually I know I missed out on a lot of crazy adventures. When I graduated college I felt a void and had to find new activities, so I invested myself in my ex, his life, and things he loved (this is not a good idea). It wasn't until he moved away that I realized I needed to get my own life - so I did.
When I became single, I went crazy thinking I had all this free time and increased all my commitments and obligations to things I had joined. Why did I do this? If I'm honest it's because I'm afraid of the free time. I'm afraid of sitting at home with nothing to do. In other words I'M AFRAID. I'm so afraid of being alone that I find projects or people who need help and try to fix their issues. I do this because, yes I like to help others, but in all reality, I know that if I'm consumed with someone else and their issues, I don't have to focus on mine.
You can live like this for so long and then you start letting others down. Just the other day I did just that, I let a lot of people down. I am so consumed in my commitments and promises to do things or be someone, that when I need time to just relax, live in the moment, or do nothing, I end up hurting others.
So why am I telling you all this. I want you to be aware of what can happen if you don't limit yourself and deal with your insecurities of being alone. Eventually your body will say stop, your mind will want to be free and you will have to give up some of your commitments. If you don't want to hurt those around you then know your limits and only promise what you know you can do. In other words - learn to say NO.
People are going to ask you to sign up and do everything under the sun, especially if they know you are single (“I mean what else do you have to do - it's not like you have a family” Have you ever heard that). Well if you have and they are asking you to do something that you are not 100 percent committed to, say no - otherwise you will hate yourself and in the end whatever you said yes to won't be a great as it could have been.
So yes, go out there a live your life. But do so living for the things that you love and you’re passionate about. Be willing to say NO and don't forget to give yourself time to rest, breathe and live in the moment. A dear friend once told me, “you can’t always be perfect and do everything for everyone” so stop trying and just live for you.
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