The Rebound

Before I start this story I need to tell you that this could possibly be one of the hardest stories for me to write, which is why you are just now hearing about it.

We all know what a "rebound" is and I'm sure most of us have had them. They are a great way to move on, to realize you still got it and guys want you. But what if you fall for your rebound?

When I ended my relationship with my ex I swore to myself that I wouldn't seriously date anyone for at least one year. I said I needed time to heal, to figure out who I was and to just live. I still went on dates and met boys and thought about the future, but I put up a big wall that stopped my heart from talking to anyone. Well it wasn't even a few weeks after my relationship ended that I ran into a guy I had always had a crush on (yes I had a crush on a guy while I was dating another. I didn't want the crush to go anywhere I just always thought he was handsome, sweet and just one of the good ol' boys). Come to find out this crush was now single, freshly single just like me. Nothing had happened between us at that time, but in the back of mine I was happy, I thought "hmmmmm, just maybe." But quickly I put that thought away and just kept on with my life.

Come January I found myself out with a dear girl friend, a few of our mutual friends and my crush; according to those around us, as soon as my crush and I started talking the world ceased to exist. No one could get our attention and no one could stop our conversation. We closed the bar down and it was a week night. These types of nights started happening more and more often. I'll never forget the steps me and my girlfriend would go through to act like we didn't care if we saw him or not - we wanted to play it tough, like it was just a random meeting or that we hadn’t been waiting forever. Shoot some nights when we knew the group guys were going to be an hour later than us, we would drive around and just act silly, when we really should have gone home and said forget it (looking back, I'm so grateful to have had a friend that would do anything to see me happy and I had some of the most fun nights doing those things).

It all started out as a cute little fling. We wouldn't allow ourselves to be alone - that quickly changed. Then we wouldn't allow ourselves to see each other alone at night – again that quickly changed. He was so easy to talk to, and understood why I was so hurt. He was the first person that allowed me to be me. So many times I've been with guys who tried to stifle my personality, put me in a corner, and make me sit still - that I can’t tell you one thing – that aint happening. But this crush was different. He seemed to like the fact that I'm loud and state what's on my mind. He understood that sometimes I just needed to cry and not be strong. He got me - which most people don't (they think they do, but they don't). I kept telling myself that this was just fun, don't get attached - but I was attached. I remember sitting out in the lawn talking to my mother and I could tell she was worried. She knew I wasn't ready and he wasn't ready, but I had fallen and there was nothing she could do but watch me get hurt.

Our little encounters went on for a good two months, when one day I woke up and said I can't do this. This is no longer a rebound, this is a guy I truly like and want to be with, but I can't. His situation didn't allow it and I wasn't ready. Like a baby I sent him a text that said "I can't do this anymore." He immediately called, confused and hurt. We talked and decided that we would figure it out; I shouldn't run just because I was scared we were both scared and on uncomfortable ground – looking back I should have run. From that point on, there was doubt in a relationship with two people who were extremely fragile. Three wonderful weeks went by he was great. He even made it to my birthday when he really didn't have the time to do so. We had fun and it was a great time in my life. But that doubt was always there and eventually he couldn't handle it and now it was his turn to run. I've had my heart broken a few times. And while this didn't hurt nearly as bad as it did when I found out I had been cheated on, it still hurt - a lot. My crush wasn't the type to not respond or just not show up and that's how he ended things. He didn't respond to a message and when he was supposed to be somewhere, he wasn't.

I was lying on the couch after being out of town and he called - 2 hours past the time we were supposed to meet. When he walked in the house I knew something was up. We sat there talking like we normally did and then of course I asked the question - "what's wrong with you?" And it all came out. Things were moving to fast, this wasn't the right time, we just can't do this. I had been waiting for this conversation, because I knew we couldn't be together, but it still hurt. I felt as though the wind had been knocked out of me. Not only had he become someone I cared for, but he had become a close friend.

Luckily we were able to maintain our friendship. He talks to me about the girls he wants to date and I talk to him about guys. Yea, it’s weird, very weird - but it works. To be honest sometimes it gets to me and it hurts. There is a place in my heart for this crush because he was there during a very difficult time. He was the first guy that made me realize that it's ok to be me and that this crazy, bubbly, loud, over-the-top girl is person that someone will love. I don't need to change in anyway shape or form. I just need to be proud and secure with who I am.

There's a song out there that sums up everything I felt for my crush and still do:

So the next time you have a rebound be careful. He may sneak up on you and be something more than you expected.  

When your parents end up on an unexpected date!

Hey guys - sorry it's been so long since my last blog post but I've been on the road traveling for my job. I thought I would have plenty of time to write while on the road, but I have to be honest and tell you the road is crazy - I've had more adventures in these past two months than I did all summer. Don't worry, I'll share all these stories soon enough.

Today I want to talk about parents and dates.

Just this past weekend I went to a Western Carolina football game with my parents, my sister from another mother, her husband and her parents - yes I was only single person in the group (oh well). So we started tailgating at noon, went up to the VIP area, watched the game, and then headed back to the tailgate. We are all sitting there when this guy comes up and starts talking to the group. He's a little bit older, but very nice, good looking and seems put together and decides he likes me. He was chattin it up with the friends and family just hanging out.

I thought it was a little odd that he was alone just walking around until we learned that his friends were all at the local pub waiting for him, but he was intoxicated and couldn't drive. Now my sister from another mother has a mother that is trouble when you put her and me together. She gets the bright idea that I'm going drive him to the bar. Well I ask him what he drives and he proceeds to tell him that is in the brand new BWM 5 series (in case you didn't know I have thing for cars - I like them, a lot). So at that point I said, "of course." As soon as the words come out of my mouth I glance over at my father who looks horrified. His baby girl is getting ready to get in the car with this older gentleman, who we have never met, is extremely intoxicated, and is going to give her directions to a bar we don't know – something most Dad’s don’t want to hear.

So I look at my girl-friend and her husband and say "make sure your close behind." They agree to come and get me so off we go. The guy was very nice and the place was only 10 minutes down the road. So we get to the bar and he offers me a drink. We are sitting there with his friends’ when I see my girl-friend and wave her over. In the middle of the wave I see my mother, father, and everyone else. This is great – seriously! I’m thinking we are all going to have a few drinks, hang out and just enjoy the bar - wrong. They didn't want to stay at the bar - we were headin to dinner - but I couldn't leave my drink. So the family and friends stood on the wall facing our seats and watched our conversation. Never in my life have I felt so awkward. I mean its one thing for your parents to be there doing their own thing, but it’s another when they are standing there watching you like a hawk. (I can't stop laughing thinking about this poor guy and what he must have been thinking).

Needless to say I quickly downed the drink, thanked him and wished him farewell. I'm pretty good in most situations, but having your parents watch your every move with a guy you just met, is weird. So, the next time your parents ask to meet the guy you are talking to, or they try to set you up with someone - make sure there are things for them to do; otherwise you may end up like me!

Swingers

So I promised in my last blog that I would share with you one of my crazy adventures on the road. If you have already held a job that requires you to travel for an extensive amount of time you will know that every day is an adventure and you can never predict what will happen next. Well this story is one for the books!!

Just this past spring I was in Nashville, TN (one of my favorite cities) with a few colleagues from other areas of the nation. Our day normally starts around 7:30 and runs till 8:30 that evening. So yes, we are exhausted by the end of the day, but if you have ever been to Nashville you understand that if you have a passion for live music you must go out. Even if you don't have a passion for music and you like to go out and have a good time, then Nashville is the place to go! I have been traveling there for 5 years (2 to 3 times a year) and every time I have a blast. If you have been keeping up with the blog you know that I like to go out and be social, I'm not the type of person who enjoys sitting in a hotel room alone so this is a city for me!

Well we had finished up one of our long days and everyone was exhausted and punked out, except one - Travel Boy. Travel Boy is a dear friend of mine that I have been working with for the past 4 years. He is my go to guy in the state of TN. Anytime I am in TN, he's there and is always willing to go out and do something. Just so you know Travel Boy and I are just friends, we have never hooked up, kissed, or even been on a date - he's just one of my dear friends. It's always nice to have Travel Boy around because he knows when to step in and play the role of boyfriend or just let the conversation happen. It often works in his favor because most of the time he becomes friends with guy as well and we have a blast. (It works in my favor as well if the situation is switched)

On this particular evening Travel Boy picked me up from my hotel and we headed to Broadway. A friend from home told me I had to check out this place called Paradise Park so we did. The music was great; there wasn't a huge crowd, just a good ol' hang out spot. Travel Boy and I were sitting at a table enjoying the music when this girl popped out of nowhere and joined us. She waited for the song to end and then introduced herself. She started telling us how it was her birthday and she was so excited because her boyfriend just popped the question and so on. Travel Boy and I were completely entertained by this girl, she was a little tipsy but really easy to talk to and funny. A few moments later her boyfriend showed up with a pitcher of beer and 4 cups. He sat right down filled up the cups and handed them out. Travel Boy and I looked at each and said "Well here's to Nashville" (looking back on this situation this was not a smart idea. If you do not know someone and you are in a strange bar with strange/new people do not accept their drink, especially if you didn't see the bar tender poor it).

The guy ended up playing pool with Travel Boy and the girl and I danced the night away. About an hour into meeting these people I started to feel a little weird. The girl kept talking about her boyfriend and how good he was in bed. How she had never been with anyone as great, willing to experiment and just loving. I can understand the first time (weird because I really don't know you, but whatever). When she kept on and on describing details of things they do I started to get a little uncomfortable. She then started asking about Travel Boy - if we were together (I immediately answered yes), how was he in bed, what types of things we like to do together (like crazy freaky things). I didn't know how to answer the questions I just kinda nodded and let her keep talking.

I ran off to the bathroom and before I reached the door Travel Boy grabbed my arm and asked if I was ok. I told him yeah but that this girl is starting to freak me out. He said "good, because this guy is crazy" apparently he had been asking Travel Boy the same questions and telling him the same sort of stories. Within 10 minutes we had said our goodbyes and ran off to the next bar.

The next morning Travel Boy and I were reminiscing over the night with another colleague of ours when Travel Boy told me that the guy asked him if we were willing to experiment with new people. I then realized that this couple wanted to SWING.

What I have learned is that if you ever find a couple expressing their sex life with you and you don't know them - RUN (unless you’re into that sort of thing).  

Do's and Don'ts on the Road

In case you didn't know my job requires a tremendous amount of travel. I have been home maybe 4 full days in the past month, so I get to see a lot of interesting things on the road. One of the most interesting things I have come to realize is how open people are when they know you are not from their town. I have learned so much about various individuals - many whom I will never see or hear from again. Because of this I have learned a lot about what you should and should not do while on a trip.

1) Don't be afraid to travel alone - you will meet a lot of interesting people, some may even become a dear friend. Trust me I hate being alone more than anything, but when I travel I never find myself alone.

2) Sit at the bar when you go out to a restaurant - this makes it easier for you to meet other people.

3) Don't be afraid to strike up a conversation with the person beside you. Just last week I met two amazing musicians from Scotland who I ended up hanging out with the rest of the week. Come to find out these guys are a big deal in Europe - Check out one of their videos!

4) Don't do anything that you might regret later on in life - If you are not a promiscuous person, don't use this time to suddenly become that type of a person. Trust me you will regret your mistakes and it will probably get back to your boss or friends

5) Be adventurous and try the local hole in the wall pub don't just go to the chain restaurant. I know we all love the CheeseCake Factory, but there are a lot of really cool places to try.

6) Ask the locals what they do for fun and then check it out - Just 2 weeks ago I was in New Orleans and found myself tired of Bourbon Street. So I went with some of the locals to their hangout spot and I have to tell you I had one of the best nights of my life. I was dancing up a storm, listening to some incredible music and eating street food.

7) Don't forget to tell your family and friends where you are. If you travel alone it's always nice to check in with someone consistently. I'm extremely independent and drive my mother crazy because I always forget to tell her where I am, but I talk to someone everyday and let them know where I am.

8) Most of all have fun!

I have a lot more to add to this list and will probably write another blog about some juicy story that happened on the road - trust me there are a lot. Maybe next time I tell you about the swingers from Nashville who tried to take me and a guy friend home!

 



Stop Trying to be Perfect

Have you ever wanted to do something special for a guy - something unexpected knowing he would love it?

Just the other day I was talking to one of the Slassy Ladies about some of the crazy things I've done to try and make everything around me perfect. After a good laugh I decided why not share one of the stories with you all!

One thing you should know about me is that I am not domestic. I mean I know how to sew, clean, cook, do all those things that are "expected" of women, but I would never consider myself "domestic." I hate to cook - well I used to hate to cook - I don't mind it so much now, but I used to despise cooking. I hated it so much, that I would offer to clean the bathroom to get out of cooking. Well one night I decided to surprise the guy I was dating and cook this elaborate meal. I spent a solid 3 hours working on this meal - Cornish Hens, twice baked potatoes, Caesar salad, fresh veggies, and last but not least homemade cake (my great aunts recipe). I was fabulous, I pulled out the candles, turned on the music, put on a cute little outfit, and everything was PERFECT. I was so proud of myself and all my hard work, he was ecstatic and couldn't believe I went to all this trouble.

When it was time to serve the cake I had made it a point to purchase quality coffee, I bought fresh beans and was ready to go. The only thing left to do was cut the cake and put the coffee in the pot. So I pull out the cake, grab the coffee and realize - I forgot to grind the beans and now the store is closed - SHIT. Once I put my mind to something I make it happen and I was determined to make this coffee. I decided to figure out a way to grind the beans without a grinder. I tried everything under the sun, to the point that I put the coffee beans in a zip lock bag, wrapped the bag in a towel, found a hammer, went to the porch and proceed to hammer the bag of beans. My date is sitting inside laughing, he had tried to stop me, but realized it was just going to cause a fight - he needed to let me be. I spent 1 full hour on the porch pounding a bag of coffee beans, because I wanted to make the night PERFECT.

Looking back at this night I laugh at myself - WHAT WAS I THINKING? We didn't need the coffee, everything else had been great. The problem was me, I wasn't able to let go and just live. My so called plans met a speed bump and I couldn't get over the hump. I was stuck and missed out on an hour of quality time to beat a bag of beans.

But hey – I got my cup of coffee!!!!!