VICTIM: a person who is deceived or cheated, as by his or her own emotions or ignorance, or by the dishonesty of others
When you start your SINGLE adventure is easy to play the role of the victim (shoot many people do this while they are in a relationship); "my ex was so awful - look at all the mean things he did to me, I'll never be the same because of him, He ruined my life" and so forth. We've all thought these things and said them to someone at some point, but eventually it has to stop. You’re SINGLE not dead. Your life is not over - heck in my opinion this is just the beginning!!! Maybe he was an asshole, but guess what - you don't have to deal with him ever again, so stop talking about him.
Now that you've moved, on its time to figure out how you never get in yourself in that situation again; the unhappy relationship where you feel victimized. So let's break down victim:
1) A person who is deceived or cheated: If someone cheats on you leave his ass as fast as possible. If you ignore it or take him back, you are allowing this action to continue. Don't give me lip or excuses on how he's changed. 1 out of ever 100 may change, and your boyfriend is probably not that one. YOU CAN'T CHANGE A PERSON, only that person can change and they have to want to do it, not for you but for them. If you take that cheater back and he cheats on you again - you are not a victim you are just crazy (I was that crazy girl - so I'm speaking from experience)
2) As by his or her own emotions or ignorance: Girls, we tend to do this often. I know we all want to have the love story that you see in the movies - shoot give me Channing Tatum in Dear John any day. If we catch even the smallest glimpse of that dream we take ever other action, word, and look that poor boy does to mean more than it is. We make ourselves believe that our love story is coming true and then we fall head over heels for that guy, when he really wasn't thinking or trying to give off that vibe. He was just getting to know you, and did you really let him see the true you in 3 dates (I don't think so). Don't drop everything right away, make him work for it just a little. Sleeping with him on the first date is not going to make him stay with you - ask most guys. Don't let your emotions screw it up. Be the strong, fun, independent woman you were meant to be!
3) By the dishonesty of others: If someone tells you they are going to do something and they don't, you can get upset and be mad. I know we like to make excuses for the guys, but they don't need excuses. If a guy really likes you and tells you he is going to do something or be somewhere - he will be there!! Don't let him off the hook - its one thing if he lets you know that something came up, but if this starts to be the norm, stop wasting your time and move on. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life wondering if your boyfriend or husband is going to make it to your dinner reservations?
Here's the thing
DON'T MAKE EXCUSES FOR THEM!!!!
You don't have to be the victim. It takes two people to make the relationship work and if you aren't happy then get out. Don't stay with someone who doesn't keep his word, or who makes you wonder if they really like you. You should never question your self-worth with the man you love. He will tell you how beautiful and wonderful you are if you allow yourself to find the right guy. I want to encourage you to stop dating the guy you normally date - try someone completely different and see what happens. Sometimes we get in the way of love. We are so busy trying to find it that we really don't know what it is. STOP and just live. If something bad happens during a date get over it and move on
DON'T BE THE VITCIM!
This is a sad and pathetic sex and the city wannabe blog. All you do is talk about your ex. If you claim to be over it, then quit broadcasting your bellyache to the world. Not slassy.
ReplyDeleteThis is the true story of four PATHETIC girls picked to live in a house, whine together, and have their lives blogged about (instead of actually living one). Find out what happen when people stop being polite and start making up words... like "slassy".
ReplyDeleteDear Anonymous:
ReplyDeleteWe're so thrilled you've taken the time out to read our blog! It shows true devotion to the message the Slassy crowd is trying to send. Even just a few minutes of reading shows interest and enjoyment!
Thanks again!
Slassy Member
Pathetic? Ouch. And thanks, I do have a life. Probably a much better and more exciting one than you.
ReplyDeleteWait...do you wear tight pants?
Response to Anonymous:
ReplyDeleteThe writer of this blog has experienced everything that she writes and has most definitely moved on. Her purpose in writing the blog is to help others identify issues in their relationships that are not healthy or that make their lives less than satisfying. Nothing speaks to others like a personnel testimony.
While visiting women’s jails, prisons and rehabs I discovered that 90% of the women I talked with are there because they lacked the self esteem to be without a man in their lives. Therefore they followed that man into a downward spiral. I see the Slassy blog as the writer’s effort to help women avoid the pitfalls of believing that their future lies in a man and that if she loves him enough or just waits he will become all that she dreamed of. These kind of dreams turn into nightmares.
I salute you Leah Beth for having the courage to expose yourself in such a way that could help other women be the person that God purposed them to be. Not the way a mere man wants them to be.