The One you Can't Let Go

Have you ever been with someone who just keeps coming back? You try dating it doesn't work, you go your separate ways but he just keeps coming back. Every time you’re ready to move on he shows up. It's like you can't get away and the worst part is that you don't know if you want to?

Well I think we have all been there to some extent - I know I have one those in my life. Just the other day I was talking to one of the Slassy Ladies and she was heading out of town. At first she didn't want to tell me where she was going, but finally she broke. She was flying up to see a guy she dated her junior year in college, then again right after college, and then again a year ago. Now Rerun Slassy, as we will call her, has dated plenty of guys in between and wasn’t pining away, but there was something about this guy that she could never let go of. We have had numerous conversations about how he isn't good for her and how she could do better if she would just let him go. Through countless tears, bottles of wine and moments of frustration Rerun Slassy has never been able to let go of this guy. She knows that he isn't the best thing for her but when you give your heart away you have to wait until it's ready to say goodbye, otherwise there is always going to be the what-if.

So off Rerun Slassy went. She had a wonderful weekend, was able to act silly, see a new place, and have fun. We chatted back and forth that Saturday and she seemed happy, but I could tell something wasn't right. She didn't have the excitement and thrill in her voice and messages that normally comes out when she is with him or talking about him. She just seemed content.

When Rerun Slassy returned we were out having a glass or three of wine and I asked "how did it go?" To my surprise she stated "I don't think I'll be seeing much of him anymore." I just kinda sat there, a little shocked but relieved at the same time. She told me all about the things they did and how they had fun, but as the weekend continued she started to realize that this wasn't the kind of life she wanted to live. She wasn't happy and didn't feel as though he was the one.

Now this relationship has been going on for 5 years and this is the first time that I have ever heard her say "he isn't the one." She has said many things to make you think that she is over him, but I truly believe this was the last visit. Her heart finally let him go, it wasn't easy, it took years of struggle but through it all she learned more about what she wants out of a relationship and who she is as a person!

I can promise you as a friend it’s hard to watch someone you care about go through this struggle of figuring out if a guy is right or not, especially when you don't think he is. But I can also promise you, that if you don't let her figure it out the way she needs to, then you aren't being a good a friend and could possibly lose her. She will eventually figure it out and do what is best for her at that time, but she needs to be the one making the decision. No matter what happens, the heart has to be the leader otherwise she'll never fully let him go and she'll always wonder!