Is that "guy friend" keeping you from LOVE?

Do you have that one guy who is always around? The guy that you would talk to about almost anything? You've never dated him and you tell everyone you wouldn't, but in your heart you aren't sure of what you really want. I'm not talking about the guy you've grown up with since you were a baby and could never see yourself with because he is like a brother. I'm talking about that guy that you secretly want to be with, but know you shouldn't so you just act like friends, but really there is more. If you do have him around then you know exactly what I'm talking about. Well my question to you is why are you keeping him around? Is he truly your friend or is he just someone that is keeping you from having to love again?



Just the other day I was talking to one of the Slassy's about this subject and I asked her a question "are you hanging out with this guy because you truly enjoy his company and will always be friends or do you secretly want to date him but you're afraid because of all the other things going on in yours and his life. If you are never going to date him are you allowing him to stop you from putting yourself out there for others?" I know this sounds confusing - shoot I think I've just confused myself - but maybe this story will help you understand.



Friendly Slassy has always been the go to girl for fun. Whenever you are down, upset, nervous, whatever, you can call her. She is that girl that you can always count on to make your day just a little be better. Because everyone tells Friendly Slassy this, and counts on her, she has a hard time ever letting her guard down and focusing on her emotional needs. Almost a year ago Friendly Slassy met someone she could open up to. He never judged, was always there to listen (no matter the time) and he just seemed to genuinely care. For the first time in a very long time Friendly Slassy could let down her guard, cry, and be honest with herself. Every now and then the strong must be weak and this guy let Friendly Slassy do just that. Things were going great until the friendship became more than a friendship and in the end she ended up getting hurt.



This relationship took a toll on Friendly Slassy and since this time she has found it extremely hard to cry, grieve or let down her guard. It takes a lot, along a little liquid influence for Friendly Slassy to just let go. Well not too long ago another young man came into Friendly Slassy's life - we will call him Mr. Comrade. From the moment she first laid eyes on this guy she knew there was a connection. The problem with Mr. Comrade is that from their first date Friendly Slassy decided that all they would ever be is friends. While there is some chemistry between the two, in her mind they are just better as friends. Friendly Slassy knows that if she does decide to let down her guard and actually tell him the truth, that she really has liked him from day one, he will break her heart. But she scared of losing him that she is willing to deny the truth and just be friends. The conversations they have are blunt and real, they understand each other's quirks and appreciate the craziness of their lives. He is one of the only people she can tell anything to and still feel comfortable around. The only thing can't share is her true feelings.



Maybe you are asking - what's the problem - just give it some time. Well they have given it some time and every day that she talks to Mr. Comrade she realizes that he isn't really the one for her. But since meeting Mr. Comrade, Friendly Slassy has refused to really get to know other guys. Now don't get me wrong, she goes out there and flirts, has gone a one or two dates with a guy, but has never really given it her all. She is just complacent and following the steps of single life. The difference between her steps and those of other girls, is that she doesn't have her heart invested in those steps. She has someone she can talk to, go and do silly things with, cry with, and yes even cuddle with on a rare occasion. Why would she put her heart out there for some other guy she doesn't know when she already has someone to do all those things with?



Now maybe you are thinking this is the way to go and maybe it is, but I don't know. What I do know is that Friendly Slassy does believe that there is something missing. Is she so caught up in this friendship/semi-relationship that she is missing her opportunities with other young men? I mean just the other day a young man who seemed to really like Friendly Slassy asked her to do something, but while the young man was asking Mr. Comrade sent her a text asking to do something time and so she turned down the eligible man. But would he do the same? When I asked her this question she said "as much as I wish I could say yes, I know I would be lying. If another girl asked him to do something, he would turn me down and go with her."



Sometimes it seems as though a wall will keep us from getting hurt, but is it really the wall that is hurting us?