Just last night I asked you a question "Do you want to play the field or are you happy being single?" This made me think - why do we assume that we have to date someone or be with someone to be happy. What about all those people who never marry, aren't they happy? We are told from the time we are little girls to find our prince charming, but why? What is this constant fear of being alone? Oh, trust me I have them and don't want to be alone - but I'm curious as to why we feel this way.
I can remember being in high school thinking that I had to have a boyfriend to fit into the status quo. If you didn't get flowers on Valentine's then you weren't pretty enough or something was wrong with you. Even in College, I spent my entire college life dating someone because I thought that I had to. Now this is not something that someone told me and it was not encouraged by my parents (my mother always wanted me to be single and just live) but I had this idea in my head that I had to be with someone to be accepted. I know weird, but I wonder if any of you have ever felt this way?
Just now I have discovered that I am a much happier person than I have been in a long time and I'm single. So I guess I'm breaking the status quo. I'm a young single girl who is happy!!!! The reason I'm happy is because I have learned to accept myself for who I am and I'm not looking for someone to fill a void - I filled that void by being myself. Now I would love to meet the perfect guy (my prince charming) but I'm not out there taking anyone who comes my way just because I think it’s what I have to do. I'm going to wait and find the guy that fits, no longer am I going to make him fit!
My advice to you is that you need to learn to love yourself for who you are. Surround yourself with people who let you be yourself and stop trying to fit a mold or make someone fit your mold. Just live and enjoy everything you do. If you want to be alone - great, but if you don't then I can promise you he will come. It may not be tomorrow or next month, but if you are patient that perfect guy who accepts you for you will come around!
Your post captures an important lesson for young women to learn. We're socialized to think that getting married, building a home, and having kids will bring us a sense of identity and completeness. In reality, we can only find those things ourselves. But through our own journey we can grow and develop a coherent, confident sense of self that will bring us happiness and allow us to give back to all our loved ones. Keep up your journey!
ReplyDeleteI think there is some very valuable information to take to heart from the post. He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away....such a great thought, be yourself to find true love...while we are all the author of our own lives, remember we are writing in pen....
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